Monday, December 31, 2012

Perfect! Not even a month

So, I'm told that I don't blog often enough (I believe the thought was that I don't blog often enough for particular people to spy on me, but that's okay - at least I know somebody cares)  And now, here it is December 31, 2012 - the last day of the year, so it's time for the year-end wrap up.

And really, in the basest sense, this year was really the same as the last.  I'm at the same job, I live in the same place, I know the same people.  I watched another friend get married in September (third in a row for that one) and well... nothing really changes.

I think this year should be different.  Something has to change eventually right?

I'm signed up to take a continuing ed course at the local college to improve my knowledge base and maybe help in the ongoing job search.  I'm planning to continue my attempt at self-improvement with being more fit, and I want to be just a better person in general.  Less cynical, more optimistic.  Just better.

I need to read more, watch TV less.  Be less concerned that I'm being a bother to other people, be more confident.  Be more me without worrying what other people think.  I want to be more intelligent - not in a snooty way, I just want to use my brain more.  Be more productive.  For myself and society.  Maybe I should do something charitable.

There's a lot that I could do to make myself better.  But I think I need to sit down and  be more organized, in general.  Get rid of clutter, in my place, my life, my brain.  There's so much that could help.

I don't think I'll do my first of the year post this year.  This one has pretty much covered everything.  I'm going to blog more though, so maybe that will make up for no January 1 post.  And maybe I'll be less worried about what I'm writing here.  It should be what I'm thinking right?  Not in a mean way, and not in a way that I wouldn't post if it wasn't so anonymous, just in a less concerned that I'm being judged way.  Just to be more real.

And with that, my 2013 New Year resolutions:
1) blog more
2) save more/budget better
3) be more fit

And on that note, I think I'm done.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

How I'm spending my November

Well, here's the participant badge, that I always forget to post...  My word count is still a little behind (read that well behind, since we're almost halfway through the month) but I'm further ahead than I've ever been in Novembers past.

So maybe I've got a shot.  Right now, I need to write about 2,400 words/day.  Maybe.  We'll see.

My thoughts aren't particularly coherent, but they are there.  And nobody says it has to be a readable novel when I'm done.  That's what editing is for.

Participant 180x180 (2)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

It's November - you know what that means

It's NaNoWriMo again.

And due to unforeseen events in my RL I was unable (read: unwilling, uninspired) to start until today.  And I started slow.   But in the last hour or so, I've made up some words and am actually on a decent pace.

I have a few ideas floating around in my head, and I'm hoping that something coherent comes out of them.  I'm trying my best not to censor stuff, because that seems to be my biggest problem.  I write and then erase bits, and that affects my word count.  And also my writing flow.  So maybe, if I can be a little more stream of consciousness this year, I can actually finish the month with a win in the NoMo column this year.

And clearly, I'm not having any problems with words today, because I'm rambling on here as well.

We'll see if by the end of the month I end up with anything useful in my Word file.

Here's hoping *crossed fingers*

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

2 years ago today...

October 30, 2010 - I was just out of the hospital after my 2nd hip replacement surgery in less than 2 years.  It's a weird thing to think back about now.  I don't remember the pre-surgery pain, though I know I had a lot, and I don't remember any particular misery about the surgery/hospital experience, but I do know that my life now, is much better than it would have been had that never happened.  And I contribute it mostly to two people.  My aunt's friend who suggested, and then suggested again a year later that I really ought to be doing something about it, and actually got me to see the second person, my surgeon, who fixed me well, and with little to no issues or trauma.

There are so many things that I could say, but really, I'm just grateful that someone was able to recognize my issues and get it all sorted out before I wasted too much time telling myself it was just something I had to deal with.

Friday, October 26, 2012

And more than a month goes by....

I've thought about posting a lot in the last few weeks.  I don't know why I haven't.  My excuse is that I was keeping up with my fitness blog, on which I finally accomplished something, even if it's not actually what I was going for.

So, in the past two months - let's see what's happened.

I was maid of honour in a friend's wedding.  And the pictures, all of the ones with me in them, are horrid.  I do not photograph well.  But I already knew that, so we move on.   It was a beautiful ceremony and a great day over all.  And then she and her new husband went off on a Mediteranean Cruise.  Add to that, my aunt was also off on a Mediteranean cruise at the same time.  And another friend went on a Disney Cruise.  Talk about a week or so of complete and total envy.

Work ... sucks.  But not because of the job, or because of anyone actually physically in the building.  Politics are winning out.  It's a miserable culture in that town right now, and we all feel fairly harassed by people who are supposed to be supporting us, and who give us the direction that they're trying to say isn't right.  It's so difficult.  Add that to the idea that I'm not particularly thrilled to still be there anymore anyway, and the week's just continue to get longer, and longer.  And the week-ends are far too short.

I've gotten a seasonal position with Northern Reflections again this year.  Not as desperate for the spare money this year, as I was last year, but if I can use it to buy Christmas gifts, that will be wonderful.  And working for the same person this year, in the same place and she was lovely, so it should be a good deal.

Other than that... I don't think I've got anything to report.  NaNoWriMo starts in a few days, so I'm hoping I can do that again this year, but I tend to have good intentions and then end up with nothing less than two weeks in.  Maybe I can find some writing discipline this year.  It's not like I don't have the ideas, I just have trouble making them become something cohesive on the page.

And my new mantra - though I'm still working on changing it - is: I'm not fat.  I have fat. I was able to complete my goal of walking 365 miles.  Finished it on Wednesday, in 298 days.  That's pretty good.  So I gave myself 4 days off, before I start a new routine on Monday.   I need to give myself random goals though, in order to accomplish anything.  I can't just have abstract things like "exercise every day."  There has to be an end goal.  Right now, I'm going for a month long plan.  I need to make it through that plan.  Beyond that, I'll have to figure out something else.  But I'm not looking beyond it right now.  Just like I didn't look beyond my 365 mile goal when I was working on that one.  And I do feel more fit than I did before I started.  And I have a bit of a workout ethic now, which is saying something.  I haven't lost the weight I was hoping for, but at least if I'm healthier that's positive.

And I think I'm done rambling for now.  Hopefully, I can keep up on this blog a little more now that I'm not blogging as often elsewhere.

Monday, August 20, 2012

And after that...

Pictures from my weekend... the close to only thing (person) that could have salvaged the crap week that I had, and am destined to have again.  And again...

The photo album is available here:  (35 of the best of the 275 photos I took.  Thank goodness for digital - no film processing costs)

My Confession

"... that smile you're wearing
It's a beautiful disguise
It's just something you put on to hide the emptiness inside
And you seem so lonely"

I realized tonight, sometime between listening to music that I love by an artist that I ... well, I won't say love, but something resembling some version of it, and driving home, that I am not as okay with the way my life is, as I may seem to be - To anyone who knows me, and not even to myself. And the worst part is that I don't know why, or how to fix it. There's not so much anything really wrong, it's just that ... well, something's just not right. And I've been rationalizing and reasoning and explaining why it's fine for so long that I almost had myself convinced. Until I hear random song lyrics that have never made me cry before, but somehow now have some strange poignancy, even if the context of the song isn't exactly right.

"Trying to outrun all the memories
But I keep falling down
I keep falling down
And it's like you still got a hold on me
'Cause I keep falling down
I keep falling down"

Maybe it's just a random feeling that something needs to change, if I could figure out how to change it, and some part of me will long for the old, while another part wants to stop looking back and start looking toward something new. Maybe I'm just in a sad place, where anything that seems remotely melancholy is going to hit a chord.

"I confess, everytime I come around
Something's always got you down
And I don't understand why
And if you wanna tell me
I'll be the angel on your shoulder, baby
I'll be the man that you confide in"

Maybe it's just that everyone seems to have that person who they can confide in, share things with, and I don't. Maybe, it's just because I'm thinking about my friends upcoming wedding, and how two of my other friends have gotten married in the past two years, and that some part of me is envious. And maybe it's not a blanket issue that envelopes my whole life; maybe it's just something that will pass, and is only something because I was faced with it today, and seemingly constantly, recently.

"I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with your head
Everytime I look around you're somewhere else instead
I wanna ask you why but everytime I try, you cry"

Maybe this whole thing is just a fleeting moment of non-clarity, of having too much time for my mind to wander, of too much emotion for random reasons. Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all. Maybe it's just me watching something unreachable, and wanting it for myself.

"From the first hit
I saw my world come crashing down
I’ll never forget
How you just blew my mind
My head is spinning
Feel my heart ’bout to explode
I’m overload from the head to toe
Around and round and round we go"

Lyrics from "Heart Without a Home", "Falling Down", My Confession" and "Addicted" - performed by Nick Carter

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Ever notice...

That I post more when I'm having a crappy life?


I was going to do a post called FML today.  But part of why that was valid, made it less so by the time I got home, so I didn't.

So, I have a black sweater...  Or better put, I HAD a black sweater.  I wear it a lot, because it's cold where I work. And it's a black sweater so it goes with everything.  Just a cute little top layer.  Anyway, I wore it yesterday.  And I took it off when I was leaving work because it was warmer outside and I was going to the chiropractor.  And somewhere between work, the chiropractor and home the sweater has disappeared.  Literally.  It's nowhere to be found.  It didn't go into the Chiro office with me, as far as I know.  So that leaves the car. And it's not in the car.  And it's not home.  And it's not at work.

Anyway, my day totally sucked at work, and I decided that I really needed to have a little black sweater and a couple of places have some kick-ass sales so I might be able to find a replacement relatively cheaply.   And so a little retail therapy.  The problem is that my job causes me to need the retail therapy, but doesn't really pay me enough to support the need for retail therapy.  That sucks!!!  And so, instead I end up eating and totally sabotaging any weight loss effort I've been putting in.

And now, I've talked myself back into the FML stage.  So to continue the venting.  This entire week I've been gradually receiving all the little jobs that used to be my coworkers...  so I am officially doing a job and a half, and still not being paid enough to equate one of them.  And my boss fluctuates between talking about how busy we are and they may not let her replace my former coworker, and continuing to add new programs and things that take up even more time...  And I can't even continue because it makes me angry.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Add insult to injury (actually injury to insult...)

So it's not bad enough that I'm feeling all emotional and depressed, I go to the chiropractor today and apparently the emotion and depression is settling into my back and f*&%ing me right up.  UGH!  So now I have a bunch of exercises that I need to do at least 3 or 4 times a day at work to stretch myself out, and hopefully make the emotion stop settling where it's settling.

Life just keeps compounding on itself, doesn't it!?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

*sad face*

Having a bit of a down week.

Last week was the last official day for my third office-mate in the eight years I've worked at the Complex.  Add that to the number of co-op students who've come and gone, and the fact that I've been trying to get out of that place for at least 3 years, and it's a little depressing.  I should just be grateful for the job that I have, but somehow that's just not getting through to my heart right now.

It probably doesn't help that I'm friends with all 3 former co-workers and am watching them do great things in their lives, at least new and interesting things, and here I sit, in practically the same place as when I started. (Not exactly the same place, since I was living with my parents when I got the job, and I've since bought a condo, but the premise is the same.) Nothing much has changed.

And I think I'm likely sabotaging my weight loss effort because of the bit of depression I'm feeling, which just adds to the depression.  It makes me feel like a failure.  I feel kind of like crying.  Maybe I should make myself watch a sad, sad movie to get the tears out and maybe I'll feel better.  Normally, I'd say I'll plan that for the weekend, but this weekend I actually have plans, so surprisingly, I won't be able to sit around and do nothing.  WOO!  (That's the good version, not the sarcastic one... in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, I just wanted to use this space for a little venting, and now I'm done.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

I'm Failing!

I'm not currently in this place, but I've been here in the not distant past and so, when I was re-watching Gilmore Girls this summer this scene resonated in a way that it hasn't previously.  And it made me want a Luke to run to, not necessarily so that he could bail me out, but just so that there was someone there.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Trying to keep up with my life

There's not really a lot to keep up with - as in not a whole lot has happened - I just have trouble remembering to document anything that does happen.

Let's see.... since my last post, what's happened.  *crickets*

That's what I thought.

My dad and I walked in the Father's Day Walk/Run for Prostate Cancer Canada.  It was held, aptly, on Father's Day.  My mom was supposed to walk as well, but after a health scare earlier in the week, we basically told her she wasn't allowed to and dad and I continued on without her, while she performed as photographer for us.  Together, we all raised just over $1,400 and dad and I finished the walk in just under an hour, about 10 minutes faster than last year.  We all say we're going to continue doing this particular 5k walk for as long as we are physically able.  Which means, somewhere down the line, I will be walking alone...

I'm going to see Corey Hart perform live next weekend.  To most, this would not be exciting.  To me, it's a childhood dream.  Corey Hart was my first ever celebrity crush.  It began at the age of 8.  And because I was so young, I have never had the opportunity to see him live.  On my list of dream concerts, he's always been there, but toward the bottom of the list because he doesn't do music anymore.  He retired from touring and making records to raise his children. Which I can totally respect. It's definitely a valid choice.  It just made me sad that I would never have the opportunity.  Until now.  Apparently, some local(ish) DJ approached him to remix one of his songs, and Corey said yes.  And it's now become a kind of Pride anthem, so he's performing as part of the Pride Festival.  Which y'know, is a little odd, given that he's straight and all, but that's okay.  I'm going to see Corey Hart live!  And I don't have any issues with going to Pride to do it.  I've been at Pride for much less of a reason than that before.

The next day, my friend and I are heading to Niagara Falls because she hasn't been in a very long time and would like to do a few of the touristy things.  She's coming with me to the concert, so it's a perfect way to combine the two things.  And we're both on vacation starting that week so it's perfect!  It should be a good few days.  So excited!!

In other updates:
I've begun going to a chiropractor, and I feel pretty good about it.  I was having muscle issues in my right shoulder blade area and had been having recurring headaches that I could not get to go away.  Since seeing the chiropractor I've had only one headache, and I think that it was caused by the adjustment and my body adjusting to the new position.  Otherwise I've been doing really well.  She's given me some exercises to do on my own as well, and those are also very helpful.

My weight loss goals are not going as well as I had hoped - I'm stuck at about 12 pounds lost - but I do feel healthier.  I feel good about myself knowing that I'm being more active.  And maybe my metabolism will at some point realize that I'm not going to stop walking and get itself in gear.  There's no reason for it to be sluggish.  I'm not starving to death, clearly.

I have a "face-to-face" for what could be a very interesting job opportunity on Wednesday.  Part of me is freaking out because of the circumstances that make it interesting, and part of me is being very passive.  Shrugging my shoulders and saying "Eh.  Whatever happens, happens."  It's a weird situation for me.  I'm generally quite high-strung about prospective job stuff.  I desperately want to find something new, and it's a very bad idea to let a prospective employer know that you want it desperately.  So perhaps this will go better because I don't have that same feeling.

Some days I feel kind of like I'm drowning in the non-ness of my life.  (Yes, I just made up that word.)  I don't really do anything much, but I feel like I have no time to do anything, because I never get anything accomplished.  It's a bit scarey.  I'm hoping that maybe I can change my attitude a little if I change some of my current situations.  I need to make changes, I think my psyche is scared that I'll end up somewhere worse than I am now.  I'm too comfortable here.  Even though I'm not really comfortable at all.  But change is stressful, and worrisome, and who needs that?  Every one does.  I know.  I just have to get myself comfortable with the idea of change, so that I'm a bit more willing to take a risk.  And hopefully the right risk will present itself soon, while I've got myself in the right brain-place to take advantage of it.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Positive vibes please

Posting only for a completely self-serving reason: There's a job that I really want an interview for.  As in really, really want an interview, because I really want the job.  The posting closed today.  So can anyone who might happen to be reading this please think about me getting an interview and ultimately that job?  Please?!?

I appreciate any positive thoughts you can spare in my direction.  From the progress the past few months, I can use all the help I can get.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Holy Cow! I suck!

Just a quick post to say that I had no idea it had been quite so long since I'd posted on this blog.  I am horrible at blogging!!

I really need to start putting my thoughts in here, instead of just ranting away to myself, and my cat.  Because I don't think she really cares, and I just make myself angrier.

Google +

Okay, so I like the idea.  The concept is good.

But I don't like that they are forcing me to put my full real name out there for all the world.  I like my privacy.  I share what I want, with who I want.  I prefer to be known by my initial. It's not a crime.  I don't share my location, I don't share my workplace. I'm trying to protect myself, and my identity.   I'm trying to avoid crazy cyber-stalker types.  I should be allowed to do that.   I don't necessarily want any person who knows my name to be able to find me online.  If I want them to find me, I'll let them know how.  This should be my right.

Google people are you listening?  I should be allowed to share only the information I want online.  You shouldn't be able to force me to allow everyone to see my whole name.  If you want to know my full name fine.  But I should be able to be present on my blog, and on my google+ page with just a common, comfortable nickname.

Got it?!

Saturday, June 2, 2012


I've just finished reading the E.L. James trilogy, beginning with Fifty Shades of Grey.  I'm clearly not a reviewer or a critic, and I don't really have a leg to stand on as far as ever being published or having any kind of reputation that grants me the right to say anything at all about someone's written work.

But below, I'm planning to post my thoughts.  If you don't want to know what I think.  Stop reading.

Also, there will be spoilers, so anyone looking to avoid knowing what the stories are about, then you need to avoid reading this.

Are you still here?  Okay.

And so, my thoughts:
I find it awkward to admit that I actually did enjoy reading these novels.  And it's not awkward because of the content.  Everyone who's heard anything about them already knows that they're erotica, and so there's no cause for any awkwardness there.  I find it awkward, because I was often pulled out of the story by the writing itself.  The awkwardness comes because I didn't find the righting very good.  But I kept wanting to know where the story was going.   Clearly, eventually they would both get past at least some of their issues, or there would be no satisfactory conclusion to the story, but when, and how.  That's what I wanted to know.

The sex, while definitely graphic in moments, didn't tend to be superfluous.  I found that after each encounter I had learned something about one or both of the characters that led to some revelation or other of their personality/character.  That's a very positive point.  Because often sex in a novel is just there for the fun of it.  It doesn't actually tell us anything.  The writing, by the way, was often much better in the sex scenes than in the more mundane scenes.  Interesting.

The writing in the more mundane scenes was a bit lacking.  It seemed repetitive, using the same phrases and words over and over, and throwing in overly large words, seemingly just for the sake of using an overly long word.  And the character development in anything other than a sex scene was almost nil.  We'd seem to get somewhere with a particular development and in the next chapter, that same character would be having the same issue again.  I understand that people don't always grow the way that we want them to, but in this particular story, we seemed to be having the same conversations over and over, with no movement toward any resolution.

There were also editing issues.   In one specific example, there's one person driving the car, and then three lines later, someone else is parking it.  When did they switch?  Is it a multiple personality disorder and there was only one person all along?

I read somewhere that this series was rushed to print.  I would guess because they wanted to take advantage of a marketing situation of some kind.  They likely would have done better to spend some more time on fleshing out the story and the characters.  And editing.  Making sure that the people in the end of the scene were the same people that were in the beginning.  And that they weren't quite so repetitive.

I give the author props for managing to get published, though from the author bio, I would guess that she likely had some contacts in the industry that helped with that situation.  But I found myself longing to rewrite many of the scenes to make them flow better, to avoid the repetition and to make everything more consistent in tone and content.  This is probably a flaw on my part, but I don't often have the urge to do that to a novel, so I think it also says something about the work that I was reading.

Overall, as I said, I did enjoy reading it.  The story was quite interesting, if not entirely unique.  With a little more polish on the writing, I'd happily read something else that E.L. James had written.

Monday, March 19, 2012

the agony, the torture

I had an appointment at the dentist today after work. Minimal plaque, moderate bleeding was the prognosis. Which of course is due to not enough flossing. This is not new.

According to the hygienist everyone gets told they need to floss more. Including her. And she's the freaking hygienist. If that's the case shouldn't someone come up with some better way to take care of that particular issue?

Maybe that's just the way my brain works.

Now my jaw aches. And my head hurts a little.

But that's the way it goes. And now I'm free of that concern for another 6 months.
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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Wow, it's been a while...

And really, is anyone surprised?  I have this bad tendency to avoid blogging.  Like if I don't put the boredom that is my life into written words, then it's not actually as boring as I think it is.  I don't think it's working.  Clearly, my life is dull.

Lately, I have been decluttering.  Well, sort of.  I had this past week off (because my birthday was Wednesday, and who wants to take off just a Wednesday - I refuse to be at work on my birthday - so I took off the whole week)  and I spent most of it spring cleaning.  The weather was great, I had windows open, and I completely rearranged my spare bedroom.  It's set up much better for my use now.  Whether or not it's better for when I have guests is beside the point.  I made a corner of it into an actual "office" type space, with the bookshelves and desk all forming their own little cubicle.  And then there's the spare bed on the opposite wall.  Or, maybe I should call it the cat bed.  She spends more time on it than any guests.  I still have a lot of stuff to put away, but I want to do it in bits, so that I can get rid of stuff.

I don't know... I feel better about the reorganization, but it just means that I have a lot of junk.  Which I already knew, but it reinforced it.

I still need to finish cleaning the main living areas.  They've been seriously tidied (It's amazing how much bigger a space looks without junk everywhere), but the floors need help.  I was waiting to do all the floors at the same time, but unfortunately, the spare room is not going to be ready.  I guess the vacuum comes out tomorrow.  And the mop.  Hopefully that'll take care of everything.

I'll probably feel very accomplished when it's done.  Right now, I just feel like going back to bed and avoiding it.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I own a lot of crap

I tried to decrease my clutter today and increase my income by selling some of my used CDs to The Beat Goes On. Apparently if I don't want them, neither does anyone else.  Despite the brightly lit neon sign in the window of the store that said "Wanted Used CDs."

It was a bit depressing watching the staff person go through the stack and keep piling them in the pile that they didn't want. I sold 7. Out of about 50.  I got a grand total of *drum roll please* $10.

Whoop Whoop.

Depressing I tell you.

The funniest part about it, was one of those was Hilary Duff.  Really!?  People actually WANT Hilary Duff?  I had The Tragically Hip in there.  And Aerosmith.  And other stuff that's far more reputable than Hilary Duff.

Apparently, (CLEARLY) at some points in my life I have had far too much money.  Obviously, that is not the case now.

I'm going to try again though.  I refuse to believe that all of it is useless, and that no one else in the world might possibly want it.  Some of the CDs they didn't take are options for posting on Amazon Marketplace, so I'm going to give that a shot.  It doesn't cost me anything and maybe someone out there is looking specifically for that particular CD.  And The Beat Goes On just doesn't know it.  It's not ALL crap.  I swear it's not.

*sings "I swear... by the moon and the stars in the sky... "

Monday, February 6, 2012

Random lamentation

I lament the days past when I had millions of ideas, when I could sit down and write a story in an afternoon.  I miss the feeling of finding a conclusion to a story that wanted to be told.

But now, I find that while the ideas are there, they struggle to reach the surface.  And rarely to they reach any kind of climax or conclusion.  They just putter around in my brain, waving, teasing, making me think they'll come to play.  Unless they're lucky enough to escape through the pen, and even then, they don't seem to find an ending.

A hundred voices, screaming to be heard through ink and reality, but never to reach their destiny between the pages of a book.


Why must marketing to one demographic mean the alienation of all others?

Case in point: I can't be the only person who thinks the Potty Dance commercials are the most annoying ads ever.  And while I freely admit that I have no children, nor do I feel like I ever want any, I just can't see how those ads entice parents to buy a particular type of diaper. (Please note that I don't even know what brand of diaper they're advertising - not doing a very good job of name recognition, are they?)

Personally, I would probably intentionally not buy that brand, hoping that they'd realize it was a stupid marketing concept and take it off the air.  I wouldn't hold my breath, but I would hope.  Maybe they'd try a new concept.

But maybe I'm just different.  Maybe no one else thinks this way.

How would I know?  I'm just me.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Can anyone see me!?!?

I felt totally overlooked all day today.  Like that chair that you know is in a room, but you don't really give much thought to, unless it's in your way?  I don't really know what the deal was.  It was just a really ooky feeling, and it made me angry.

And I'm feeling like a pity-party is coming on, so the rest of this week has to go by pretty quick, because the pity-party can't hit until the weekend.  Once I'm holed up inside my own place then I can feel sorry for myself.  But it's very difficult when you're dealing with customers and co-workers to deal with the pity.

In other news, I heard on the radio this afternoon that Leslie Carter died.  The sister of Nick and Aaron Carter.  She was only 25.  And she had a 10month old daughter.  It's just so sad.  That family, despite the fame, or possibly because of it, has not had a good luck.

This video isn't particularly apropos, but other than the House of Carters reality show, it's the only thing I can find for Leslie.  Besides, it's cute.  So why shouldn't she be remembered, at least partially for something fun. (Also, the quality really sucks.)  This was how I first heard of Leslie Carter.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Something I should probably listen to more often...

I couldn't find the official video that was post-able, and she kind of rambles a little at the beginning, but once the song gets going, it's the same point.

Monday, January 30, 2012

And so it goes....

No go on the interview.  Apparently they short-listed a few people who were a "better fit."

I have no idea what that means.

I should be getting really used to rejection.

I guess all that's left to do is keep trying.  Something will come up eventually.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Grocery store pet peeve

Am I the only person who understands that if you sample the produce (bulk items, candy) at a grocery store, then you are in fact costing yourself more in the long run?

Stores have to count that as a loss, when things go "missing", and then have to raise prices to make up for that loss.

I understand that most of that stuff looks oh so tempting and tasty out there where it's easily attainable, but can't you wait until you've paid?  Really?  Are you that starving that you need to have it now!?

I just don't get it.  It would never occur to me to eat something before I had purchased it.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't own it, I can't eat it.  Doesn't that make sense to anyone else?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I hate the phrase "You're either with me, or you're against me."

Nothing, I repeat, nothing, is that black and white.  Ever.  There are always shades of grey.  Maybe I'm better at seeing both sides of the coin than a lot of people, or maybe I just don't like to make decisions, or commitments, but I always see the grey.

The world is always full of grey.  Black is ever colour, and white is the absence of any, but life is really just grey.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Tied Together

I keep meaning to post this and I don't think I have up until now.  When my family did the 5k walk for Prostate Cancer on Father's Day, we were photographed to possibly be in a photo display put together by Photosensitive and Prostate Cancer Canada.  

Well, our (technically, my dad's) photo was chosen to be in the display.  The display is travelling across the country, and was at Brookfield Place in Toronto January 9-20.  We went to the opening earlier this month.  It was interesting to see the photos in a display, and read the mini-stories that were along with them.  Also a little depressing.  It did make me realize how lucky we are that my dad has reacted as well as he has to his treatments.  It could have been so different.

You can see the photo gallery at Tied Together

We actually, have two photos in the gallery.  On the first page, toward the bottom.
The one to the right here (the first one in the gallery) was in the actual display.

It's kind of neat, but kind of weird.  I don't know really know how to explain it.

I will be walking again, in June, for the Father's Day Run/Walk.  Think about giving.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Interview yesterday.  Went hopefully well.  Has the potential to be a very well-suited job for me.  I hope they think that I'm at least well-suited enough to get a second interview.  I've never gotten a second interview.  Cross your fingers.

The weather sucks.  It's warmish and rainy one day, then it's cold and snowy the next.  This is winter.  In Canada.  It's supposed to be snowy and cold.  That's what we're all used to.  Just do it and get it over with.  And if it's still doing this waffle-ass business in April, I will be pissed.  Spring and fall are my favourite seasons, and we very rarely get either of those anymore.

Beyond that, life is... well, life.  It continues.  And there's not a whole lot more to say.  The exercise resolution is going well.  I've lost 4-5 pounds and I've done exercise most days so far this year.  So that's good.  Hopefully it's becoming a habit.  The reading resolution is also going well.  I'm halfway through book number 3 for the year.  That's a good pace.

Beyond that, resolutions be damned.  Those are enough to think about.  (I'm just mad at myself because the goal to write more tanked... in the first week.  That blog has been sitting vacant since, I think, day 3... bad, bad potential writer.  You should be flogged.)

I'm currently going through all the multitude of CDs that I owe, but rarely listen to and ripping them to my computer so that I will actually make use of the music they contain.  I missed some of them.  Some of them, not so much.  But it's all going to be there, at my finger tips.  My neighbours may begin to hate me.  The music will be very, very random for a while.

Hmm... that might be it.  Like I said, keep the fingers crossed that I get a phone call for a second interview.  That would be monumental news.  And throw in a prayer for better weather.  That would be nice.

I have to go work on finish a baby gift, for a baby that's already been born.  Kinda needs to get done before the shower.  Cross your fingers on that too...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Free stuff!

I'm playing Shopper's Drug Mart's Shopper's Optimum spin to win game.  Please join me.  If you use my link I get 5 free spins.  It's free (probably only for Canadians, in case there are Americans reading this)

Also, there's a cool site called Wanna Win that's also free, and you just keep entering contests.  Just pushing a button that says participate.  It's neat.  Haven't won anything yet, but it's not like it's labour intensive to keep trying.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Yup, me again.

I have no exciting news of my own.  Well, I have an interview on Tuesday, but that's not exciting right now.  It just has the potential for creating something exciting.  We'll see.  On Tuesday.  And well, in reality, there'll be at least a week of waiting.  Fun.

In other people's news that is exciting to me, my oldest (oldest as in she's been my friend the longest, not that she is actually oldest in age because she's not) had a baby last week!  His name is Preston.  And I get to meet him today!  He's adorable, based on pictures, and well, what baby isn't adorable when it has some kind of connection to you.  And I get to be his aunt.  Because his mother and I are old friends, and (I'm deciding this part) because he has no biological aunts anyway, because both his mom and dad have brothers.  So his aunt is not going to actually be related to him, but he's not going to know any different.  Especially right now.

I've read two books so far this year.  That's good.  One of them, called "Still Alice" is about a woman who has Early OnSet Alzheimer's disease.  It's a bit ... poignant.  Very good book.  I recommend it.

The other was about Grace Kelly.  Also, my mother and I went to see the Grace Kelly exhibit.  It was quite interesting, except for the bitchy attendant who snarked at me for touching something I wasn't even touching.  (She could have easily been pleasant about it, and just asked that I not touch it; she was very accusatory.  It was mean.)  And of course, I was annoyed by all the other people there, but that's not unusual.  I just don't like people.  If everything I do, could be done with only the people who are closest to me, I would be a happy person.

But that world will never exist.   And really, who else would want to live there.  My life is dull.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Promises, promises

I said I was going to blog more, didn't I?  Well... I am, just not here.

So far, I'm doing really well at my workout goal.  Though obviously no pounds lost yet, I have done a workout in some form every day.  And that means that I'm posting on that blog every day.

And 3 out of 4 days I've managed to do the writing that I said I was going to do.  So I'm posting there.

But here?  Not so much.  I just haven't had a lot to say so far.  I'm sure I'll come up with something besides the weather.

Which, BTW, is freakin' crappy!  I hate snow.  Have I mentioned that before?  We had 40cm of it yesterday.  I had to DIG out my car!  And the doors were frozen shut, and then, like the idjit that I am, I actually went to work!  On  what could have been a freakin' snow day!  AGH!!!

And now that I've got that out of my system, I'm off to post on the writing blog.  Time for Day 4 of the Writer's Book of Days.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Day one of the new year

Haven't broken my resolutions yet.

Haven't really started most of them either.

But I do have plans to start one (exercise is forthcoming later this afternoon), and I am going to write more.  Which is the point of this post.  The writing more is going to be completed as a kind of project.  I have a book called "A Writer's Book of Days".  It gives writing prompts for each day of the year.  I am going to write based on those prompts, trying to do it every day.   And, helping with the blog more resolution, I'm going to do it in a blog.

But in order to avoid clogging up this one, I've started a new one, just for that writing:  Just in case anyone is interested in reading.  I will not say that it will be interesting for anyone to read.  A lot of it probably won't make any sense at all.  But the best way to write, is to write.  And so, the project begins.

Happy New Year! Resolutions?

Do I actually believe in New Year Resolutions?  No.  Mainly because the first day of the new year is basically exactly the same as the last day of the previous one.  So what makes me think that I can make changes any better that day than any other?  Nothing, that's what.

Usually my resolution is to not make resolutions, which means that I've immediately broken my resolution.  It takes the pressure off.

But this year, I am going to make resolutions, the theory being that if I write them down, they'll be more concrete and I'll have to stick to them.

And so, the list:
1) Lose weight.  The magic number is 30.  With a hope for a bit more.  And the goal is to lose it by September.
2) Read more.  This year I read 45 books.  The goal is to read just as many next year.
3) Try something new.  I want to join a book club, take a cooking class or learn to sew.
4) Write more.  This kind of goes along with read more because when I read more, I generally feel more creative and can write more. Also, I want to take a writing course.  I know they're offered at continuing ed at UWO.  Just need to find the money.
5) Blog more.  Hand in hand with write more, actually.  Just a different form of writing.
6) Find a new job.  It's just time.  I'm in the 8th year at the Complex, and it's beyond time to find something where I can grow and challenge myself.  Or at least not feel like I'm going to throw up before I go to work some mornings.

And that, my friends, is my resolution list.  Feedback?  Anyone?  Anybody want to help with any of the resolutions?  Be a buddy to keep me on track?  Let me know.