Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Year Resolutions

I was asked yesterday what goals I had for the new year. What you need to understand, before I answer this question is that I am usually strongly against making resolutions, because I just figure that I'll break them anyway, and any changes I make in my life should be things I change because I want to change them, not because I promise myself that I need to. So my rote answer is that I resolve not to make any resolutions.

This year though, I'm going to change that. I need something to motivate me to actually make those changes that I have internally promised myself for the past few months. And so, with that in mind, I am going to list the things that I want to accomplish in 2011.

1) I want to lose 30-40 pounds. This one I actually want to achieve in the first 6 months of the year, but it also involves creating better eating habits for myself, and then maintaining that weight loss, so it is a full year promise. When I started the process to lose last time, I started a blog here: http://waistfulthoughts.blogspot.com/ I'll be attempting to keep up with that again, as well as staying here.

2) I want to better budget my money. I need to teach myself that buying things will not make me feel better about my job when I'm stressed. This actually might go hand in hand with the one above. I can substitute exercise for shopping. Some of this budgeted money needs to go into a savings account so that I can afford to go to Vegas for my friend's wedding. The rest of it needs to go into paying down debt.

3) I want to continue to read. A lot. The past two years I've had 3 months where I've had nothing but time, so that I've set a good reading pace. I won't have that in 2011, so I want to promise myself that I will still keep the pace. Perhaps I'll read on the weekend instead of automatically turning on the television and watching brainless shows. I don't know yet. But I know that I've currently got a pace of at least 30 books/year. (You can watch my progress as I keep track at my bookshelf on Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/limada/shelf )

4) I want to go through some of the "stuff" that I've collected through my various phases and sell some of it, and just get rid of other things. I have to much stuff, and watching Hoarders has made me realize that I do not need it all. Plus, I don't have enough storage for it all. So, out it goes. I'm already working on this because my mom has a VCR that connects to the computer, so that you can create digital files from your VHS. I've been working on that for the past two days. Once they're on the computer, I will pitch the VHS. (Actually, I'll probably give it to Value Village, but I will no longer own it, which is the point.)

5) I think I want to learn to sew. I'll probably have to get my mother involved in this one. But it would be a good skill to have. And so, it's a goal.

6) I want to teach myself to cook more creatively. I'm a boring cook, and because of that, I don't like to do it. So I need to actually use the recipe books that I have, and find ways to make creative meals for a single person. This also fits with the first goal, because if I cook better for myself, then it will be easier to keep track of what I'm eating and therefore easier to lose the weight.

I think 6 is a good number of goals. None of them are impossible. In fact, all of them are things that I really should be doing anyway. But having them written out is a good thing. I have an ongoing goal of always trying to write. But as it's ongoing, and because this blog is actually part of the goal, I'll leave it off this list.

I always have other goals that I'd like to achieve in a year. Finding a new job, for example. But since it's not something that's completely in my control, I'm not including it, either. Or random things that come up along the way, that should fall in this category, but weren't visible when the year changed. I'll take those into account as I go, but if I can look back to this list on December 28, 2011 and mentally add check marks to these, then I'll feel as if I had a successful year.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Post-Christmas analysis

Here it is, December 27th, 2010. Christmas is past. Boxing Day is past (I'm Canadian, so yes, I "celebrate" Boxing Day, and no it isn't an occasion meant for boxing...) And I think now, I will spend a few minutes reflecting.


Or maybe I won't. Reflecting is probably highly over-rated anyway.

I will say this: for someone who claims to not really like kids, I do find myself in situations with them on a regular basis. At my friend's wedding this summer, another high school friend brought her two daughters. Who spent large amounts of time talking to me. And at Christmas, I found myself helping my, well, let's call her my cousin (once removed) who's nine, with the iPod that she'd gotten. And I'm still chatting with her, because it's her newest toy. She's sent me a good morning message both today and yesterday, and I've gotten other random messages through out the day. It is fun, really. It's just funny, also. Really defines the fact that children in small groups are perfectly fine. It's when the herding starts that I find them obnoxious. :P

Anyway, while I sit and mull over the impending end of this year we've called 2010, I'll take my leave. I'm hoping to make posting here a more regular thing. We'll see.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I'm not sure what I'm doing...

There are so many things going on around me, I get distracted by all the shiny, niceness for everyone else, and I fail to notice that I have absolutely no idea what's going on in my own life. I know I'm envious of a number of people that I know. I'm also highly not-envious of a few of them. And I know I don't want to be doing the same thing I've been doing for the rest of my life. That is to say that I don't want to just be, and survive. I want to actually DO something. Anything, really, beyond what I've been doing. I just don't know exactly how to kick-start myself into that. It's not that I'm not motivated to change things, but I think part of me is also afraid of change. It may not actually BE better, y'know? So part of me sabotages the part that's actually pushing to make the change.

Plus, my entire life has been in a kind of holding pattern for almost two years, since I found out what was wrong with my hips, and that surgery and recovery time would be involved. I could have made changes, but it would have severely changed the timeline on fixing my physical issues, and I wasn't willing to do that. Part of me regrets that decision too. I could have done part of it, and put off the other part or something. But I didn't. So I have to deal with the decisions that I made. And I have to kick myself in the ass, and do what I need to to make myself happier. That's really the long-term goal. I need to do things that will improve me and that includes so many things: physical, mental, emotional.

The mental might actually be the easiest part, since I took psychology, and I can actually recognize my issues. Putting that knowledge to use to make changes is my problem. I'm lazy. In multiple ways, and I need to start doing something about that too.

So I guess this is, in a way, my manifesto. This is my promise to myself, and my written exclamation... I will change. I will find ways to improve in all the ways listed above. And I will take advantage of the many resources that are available to me.

I can. And I will.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Random projects

I'm sometimes a bit of a pushover. I feel bad saying no to people if I think it's someone who's opinion might actually matter. For example, while I'm off work, I've been asked to create a website for the church my parents attend. Technically I'm a member there also, but I only joined because at the age of 16 I was expected to. I don't actually go to church, so this is my way of contributing as a member. That's also why I'm considering saying that I will continue to update the site, given that it will not be an extensive job. And by that I mean I'll only have to update once a week and it will take less than an hour.

Other random projects: I knit. I know, it's seen as an old ladies' hobby, but I do it anyway. It's been a great gift-making venture. But I've nearly run out of people to give gifts to. So if there's anyone out there that needs anything knitted, let me know. It's one of the ways that I keep my hands busy while I watch television so that I'm not eating. Seems to work, though I haven't actually lost any weight that I can attribute to the knitting.

The other thing I do to keep my hands busy is cross-stitching. Another old lady hobby. I don't do it as often though because it takes much more thought. I need to finish a few projects of it, because I have kits that I'd like to see completed, but it takes time. And energy.

Knitting is more brainless/automatic for me. But I do need more patterns, so if anybody has simple ones (absolutely no cables - I'm not patient enough for cables) feel free to contribute to my knitting fetish. I do a lot of feather/fan projects because it's simple.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


I hate the snow. I know, this causes some conflict when I live in Southwestern Ontario where we tend to have snow. I'm just grateful that I don't live in Alaska, or somewhere that has snow far more than we do here. This week, however, I really am glad that I do not have to be outside. In the past 3 days, we have received more than 1.5 metres of snow. This means that were I to stand outside, beside a pile of snow as high as we've received, the snow would be significantly taller than I am. This sucks! Greatly. As I said, I hate snow.

I said in the title of the blog that it would be full of random thoughts - this first post will definitely show that. I full admit that I'm not a terribly exciting person. Some people find me amusing. Sometimes. I can, on occasion, make people laugh. Most of the time I'm just the kind of person who's submersed in their own thoughts. Blogging is an attempt for me to take those thoughts out of my head and put them out in the world. Make sense? ... I didn't think so.

At some point I'll probably add some more personality to the blog background so that it's at least a little entertaining, given that my posts might not be that exciting. But I do admit that I need to stop living in my own head. And what better place to do that than on a blog that no one reads? Right? It'll be kind of like therapy. But really, really not.

I'm having difficulty believing that it's almost Christmas. The last month, well 6 weeks actually, for me has disappeared. Days run together when you can't leave the house for extended periods of time. I watch the same tv shows every day (except weekends, which is the only reason I know they are weekends) and I do the same crafty things, and I eat the same things. Time just doesn't seem to move. It's crazy. So in another 6 weeks, when I have to go back to work, I'm going to freak out (yes FREAK OUT!) because it will seem like it's still the end of October to me.

Oh well... Life does go on. And on. And on.