Understanding

I understand that we are in a very sensitive time now, - racially, sexually - where we are able to acknowledge and be better than we've been in the past.  Personally, I've always just kind of thought people were people who should be judged on their merits and their behaviour, not on their skin colour, ethnicity, or gender - but what do I know?

Thoughts of a day

Having recently suffered a significant loss in my life, I can't comprehend the people who find it necessary to post annually on the anniversary of a loss about how much they still miss that person.  It seems unnecessary as your grief and loss are your own.  Are they really just looking for further sympathy to carry them through.   Do they feel as if people have forgotten them, and their loved one, and so they need to bring it forward again?  Because the majority of people probably have their own loss to deal with, and in some cases, it may not be a happy reminder for them.

Finding the way

For as long as I can remember, I've had this dream, no... goal, to be a writer.   I want to write a novel - to actually finish writing a novel.   I've written a lot over the years, and I can't seem to find that perfect thing to write that actually gets me to the end.   And it makes me wonder if that's actually ever been a realistic dream for me. Am I even capable of completing something like that?  Has it been stupid to hold on to that for so long?

*insert heavy sigh*

It's hard to re-evaluate dreams you've been holding since childhood.  And I don't think this one needs to be completely abandoned, but I don't think I have any idea how to move forward with it.

All I want for Christmas...

... is a new job, to reduce my stress and my drive.   I'm not asking for more money or power or anything.  Just somewhere that someone appreciates that I'm there doing my best every day.  Somewhere I'm not afraid that every person who comes near me Is going to attack my position, or the cost of my position. 

Somewhere that I'm treated like a person, not just a statistic on a piece of paper. 

That's not asking too much is it?

Fail

I tried to do a good thing, a helpful thing.  And it went wrong. 

When I tried to make it better, it got worse.

And isn't that just the way my life seems to work.