Finding the way

For as long as I can remember, I've had this dream, no... goal, to be a writer.   I want to write a novel - to actually finish writing a novel.   I've written a lot over the years, and I can't seem to find that perfect thing to write that actually gets me to the end.   And it makes me wonder if that's actually ever been a realistic dream for me. Am I even capable of completing something like that?  Has it been stupid to hold on to that for so long?

*insert heavy sigh*

It's hard to re-evaluate dreams you've been holding since childhood.  And I don't think this one needs to be completely abandoned, but I don't think I have any idea how to move forward with it.

So here's the thing...

I didn't have a great year last year.   I had a lot of disappointments - mostly in myself, and the way I handled the year.   Which is why I did not do my normal end of the year wrap up, and then start off the year posts.

I have goals for this year - I absolutely have goals for the year.   But they're a little different than they've been in the past.  This year, I've decided is the year to be aware. 

Simplicity

Life really is about the simple things.

I'm staying in today.  This in itself isn't a surprise.  But I'm sitting by my patio door, first with the window slightly open for the fresh air, until it got chilly, and then with the fireplace turned slightly on.  Working on baby gifts for a friend.  Watching Doctor Zhivago on television.

None of the joy of these things are costly.  Yes, I pay for the digital cable that supplies the movie, and yes, I paid for the supplies for the baby gifts.  But as an activity on a daily basis, none of them are expensive.

And it really is such a nice thing to just sit and drink tea and craft.  Letting my mind wander, or not, listening to the cat purr on the couch nearby.  To just be.

It's a lovely way to spend a day.