I bought a new calendar yesterday, and markers and some cute stickers. I am going to use these to create my own "happiness project". I'll put the stickers on the calendar when I do certain things, like blog, or exercise, and it'll be a way to keep myself accountable, because I'll be able to see whether I'm actually doing what I say I'm doing. It seems kind of silly. but I think it might be the way for me to actually motivate myself.
And I need to make sure I'm motivated to the weight loss goal this time. I'm not going to let time go by and say "Oh, I wish I'd... " because I do that a lot. I can keep to almost any goal that someone else sets for me because I'm a people pleaser in most cases, but I let myself down a lot. And I need to stop doing that.
I should probably do a little self-analysis to figure out why I feel like I'm self-sabotaging. That would probably be useful. But I'm hoping that as I go through this process that maybe I'll find the doing of these things rewarding enough that I don't feel like that anymore, and I won't have to figure out why I did it in the first place.