I've come to a conclusion: No one else is going to try to make me happier.
This may seem obvious to... well, everyone. But this is new to me. I'm not particularly unhappy in most of the aspects of my life. There is definitely room for improvement in every part, but I'm not hanging off a ledge by my fingernails or anything. I just think there's space to grow.
I should probably start from the statement that I'm currently reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. This is partially because it was recommended to me by someone I trust on the subject of books, and partially because I knew I wanted to make some kind of change in my life. I just wasn't clear on what that change should be all about.
I've been trying to make a work-related change for a while now. This is not news. It's just a tough market, and I'm not particularly skilled at anything beyond being a glorified administrative assistant or a quality control lab technician at this point. And neither of these things seem like the way to make my work life happier. So I've been trying to expand my search. And I think in the interim, during the time that I'm waiting for all those companies to start banging down my door, clamoring for me to come and work for them, I should try to be happier where I am.
Which is not precisely what I'm going to do. I'm going to concentrate, instead, on making every other part of my life more fulfilling, in an effort to counterbalance the misery of my current job.
I haven't yet come up for a plan for this but the book is giving me great ideas. I know I need to keep in better contact with the my friends - strengthen the relationships, because people with stronger social bonds tend to be happier. I also know that I need to take better care of myself - get more sleep, exercise more, eat better; even simple things like remembering to wash my face before I go to bed. And I know that I need to eliminate clutter. I live amidst organized chaos, and it's not particularly peaceful, or settling. And definitely not happy-making.
So those are the three current goals. Maybe by the end of this particular bout of self-discovery I'll actually be able to be outwardly optimistic, still keeping my inward pessimism, instead of being outwardly pessimistic with a hint of optimism.